Ah yes, the age-old 'Staring Incident.' It often starts with an opening verbal salvo, along the lines of "Cheebye see what stare?!" which is oft parried by the retort, "See your fuck face lor"...which is in turn, understandably, interpreted by the first party as a call to arms.
Thus he announces his challenge: "Nabey not happy come outside settle la!"
After which, both parties exit the venue to exchange blows, shout gang affiliations and swiftly "chow sua" before the arrival of law enforcement.
Curiously, in the most recent incident, after the assault, the assailant chose to shout his own name in Hokkien, before going BACK in the dance club where he presumably "chiong the lance floor macham saturday night fevel."
The responding officer described the behaviour of the accused as reckless and puzzling.
"Stupid like fuck sia the fella. Anyhow hammer people then say his name," said Staff Sergeant Tan Goh Stun.
"Oi peng yu, ler Gong-Gong ah?" he asked the handcuffed assailant as he was put into the back of the squad car.
"Cockanathan," he added.
Community leaders have expressed concern over the incident, urging revellers to avoid extended eye contact with anyone, especially men named 'Jackson', 'Sammy' and 'Boy'.
"Next time you want to go clubbing, wear sunglasses. If you forget, look down at the dance floor as much as possible," advised Dr Gopalaswamynathan Tanuparthiben Joseph of the Precheneh Misconduct Society (PMS).
The accused is currently awaiting sentencing. If found guilty he faces up to 30 years in prison and up to 12 slaps right to his fuckface.
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